Reality Check
by ellie82
Summary: What if you could go back and have a second chance at love? What if you could be normal again? What would you be willing to leave behind?
1. Losing Grip

**INTRODUCTION**

What if you could go back and have a second chance at love?

What if you could be normal again?

What would you be willing to leave behind?

Life after the 'almost war' has returned to normal for the packs.

Unfortunately, nothing is ever that straight forward when Leah is involved.

Decisions must be made and risks must be taken, but first it's time for a reality check.

* * *

**Chapter One – ****Losing Grip**

Leah POV

'_You're late Black.'_

'_Jesus Leah! By five minutes. What's eating you today? You're normally such a happy person.'_

'_Screw you! Sarcasm is my thing: your bad attempts are more embarrassing than Seth's dancing.'_

'_Whatever; nothing is as bad as that! Speaking of your brother - where is everyone?'_

'_At mine; most likely sleeping, eating, invading my privacy, making a mess - the usual. You guys are disgusting, you know that right?'_

'_Aw, you love us really. You're like a really volatile mother hen.'_

'_If that's the case, I should get the benefits and be able to order you around.'_

'_I said 'like', not 'are'. Besides, I'm not one of them; I'm more like the dad.'_

'_You're the dad? Ha!'_

'_What's wrong with that?'_

'_Err, nothing! Except you couldn't__ organise__ a piss up in a brewery. You really think you could manage Seth and Dumb and Dumber?'_

'_Yeah, together we could.'_

'_Together? No way! If we're playing Mamas and Papas then I'd be divorcing your sorry__ ass__. Joint custody - that's the way to go these days!'_

'_Divorce? That's harsh Leah! Think of the kids. Besides, I think we'd make such a happy couple.'_

'_What planet do you live on? You've met me right? I'd kill you! No, divorce is safer.'_

'_I can't believe you would give up on us that easy! After all the effort I would put in to get you to marry me.'_

'_Jake, you have the attention span of a goldfish. There is no way you would have the follow through to convince me you were nothing more than a moron.'_

'_You'd be surprised what I'm capable of if I want something.'_

'_Yeah, sorry, I forgot about your obsessive tendencies.'_

'_That's not fair.'_

'_That's life! Now quit this stupid game before I point out all your faults.'_

'_Bitch.'_

'_Baby.'_

'_Whatever.'_

'_Is that the only comeback you have Jake? 'Whatever?''_

'_Just drop it Leah.'_

'_Whoa, touchy.'_

'_Yeah, well, until now, I was actually looking forward to your company. God knows why.'_

'_Oh come on, it was a joke. Haven't you learnt anything over the years?'_

'_Sure, sure; life's a bitch and so is Leah.'_

'_That's more like it!'_

'_Ha ha, what's the catch? You just agreed you're a bitch.'_

'_I know, so don't milk it! What's got your pant's in a twist anyway? Is the Leech loving not going as planned?'_

_'Leah . . .'_

'_What? Don't get all moody on me again Black. You moan at me for not trying with your infant imprint, so god damn you I'm trying. It might not be conventional, but it's all I've got.'_

'_Yeah, well, Alice saw something that changed things – a lot of things.'_

'_Huh? Alice can't see us.'_

'_No, or Nessie. At least she never has before.'_

'_So what did she see?'_

'_She saw Nessie and-'_

'_-Shit! Jake, it reeks of Leech here. It's not the Cullens.'_

'_Leah, where are you?'_

'_I'm at the creek.'_

'_I'm on my way. Don't move.'_

'_I'm fine; calm down already. I'll track it and you can catch up.'_

'_No! Leah, stay where you are. You don't know how many there are.'_

'_No Jake. They'll be getting further away by the second.'_

'_Leah, don't move. You are not fighting vampires on your own. THAT'S AN ORDER!'_

The minute the words left Jake's lips, I found myself frozen.

'_COME OFF IT BLACK! LET ME UP.'_

'_NO! I'm not far. I'll be there in three minutes.'_

'_The rate you run, that will be five!'_

'_Knock it off and pay attention. Do you hear anything?'_

I stopped mentally insulting Jake and listened to my surroundings. There was no sound, but I turned my head to find four crimson eyes staring at me; a female and male vampire were standing on the other side of the creek. Their heads were cocked and they were looking at me curiously.

"Hello wolf." The female addressed me with an English accent and a cruel smile which stretched across her face.

If it wasn't for the smell and lack of personal hygiene, the female vampire would have been kind of pretty. Her thick blonde hair was so long that it went down to her waist, but it was layered with dirt and leaves throughout. The clothes she wore clung to her petite frame and were travel worn and muddy. Her feet meanwhile were bare, and from her looks, I would have guessed she was changed in her early twenties. Most disturbing though, was that she had a sickeningly innocent face that was marred by the evil sadistic look she now had.

The leech's mate was stood extremely close to her, guarding her with a pleased expression. He too was blond, but extremely tall and toned. In some regards he looked like a fallen angel. Both of them did, but I knew better - everything about them screamed demon.

"I don't think the mutt can speak." The man said and excitedly squeezed his partner's hand.

"No baby, me neither, but it's one of them, there's no doubt." The look she gave him was just as delighted.

I immediately started to growl in warning, but to my horror they suddenly crossed the creek. It took them only two strides to make their way across and before I could blink they were walking towards me.

"There, there, good doggy. If you know what's best you won't fight us. We might even make it quick for you." The woman laughed shrilly.

I could feel Jake screaming in my head as I tried to back away.

'_LEAH, GET OUT NOW!'_

'_Fuck you Jake, it's not like I'm trying. It's the alpha command; I can't move you idiot!'_

'_SHIT! YOU'RE RELEASED!'_

The new command did just that and my limbs came to life. I was no coward, but I wasn't suicidal. I didn't have the upper hand right now and needed to get some distance. Once I got to a better spot, I could make my attack. Unfortunately, I was too late. The one second delay was all they needed. I turned tail and felt myself being pulled back by my hind leg.

'_Leah, I'm almost there. Two minutes, that's all!'_

I clawed at the ground with my front paws and kicked out with my back legs. I was hoping to get some leverage and get clear of their grip, but excruciating pain filled me as I moved. I turned to see the female vampire had crushed my hind leg and I howled out in pain.

She looked to her partner. "Oh, this is even better. Hunny - it's the bitch! We mustn't toy with this one; her pack won't be far.'

'As you say my darling.' He kissed her briefly before they both returned their focus to me.

I felt a notch of dread rise in my stomach and tried to turn my body to fight (flight was no longer an option). Amazingly, I somehow managed to twist myself in her hands, all the while trying to ignore the pain in my now broken leg. I even managed to get a chunk of the woman's shoulder in my jaws and tore a part of her away with much satisfaction.

In return she cried out in shock, yet within seconds I was being assaulted again by both of them. It didn't even matter that I was the fastest and smallest in the pack, for once it was working against me. I could feel my hope fading when they simultaneously attacked my back and forced me to the ground, the strength and pressure was too much for me. There was no logical way to survive the onslaught and as I thought this I felt them tearing at my sides with their hands and could feel warm liquid seeping out onto my fur.

'_Leah, one minute that's all. Fight girl!'_

'_I'm trying.'_

Believe me, I really was trying!

I tried to push my body up several times, but they were just too heavy.

I tried to turn and snap at them, but their movements were too quick.

I was trying every defensive move I knew, but they anticipated everything.

'_Jake, it's not working. It's like they know us! This was planned.'_

'_I know. I saw it all. I'm almost there.'_

Jake's voice was suddenly drowned out by the female leech shouting, "NOW HUNNY!"

The next thing I felt was my whole body searing with pain. I was still pinned on my stomach, but somehow managed to turn my head to see the cause. To my horror, both of the vampires had sunk their teeth into me.

"She tastes disgusting." The boy vamp said as he spat out my blood onto the forest floor.

The woman didn't speak, but I could feel that she was still attached to me. I tried to fight again, but my body was paralysed and burning all over. I knew Jake could hear me, but I had to be strong.

'_Oh my god! Leah, you've been bitten.'_

'_It's ok Jake.'_

'_Ok? Leah every part of you is screaming in my head. Don't you dare tell me that. Just hang in there.'_

I could no longer make out the world around me. I didn't even know if the bloodsuckers were still draining me. My vision and sense of feeling were failing. _'Jake, why is it dark out?'_

'_No it isn't! Open your eyes.'_

'_They are open. It's all dark.'_

I was desperately trying to fight my way through the dark veil that was now shrouding me.

'_Shit . . . Leah . . . talk to me ok?'_

A new sensation hit me all of the sudden; _'It burns.' _I screeched in my head.

'_What burns?'_

I couldn't help but let out a howl this time; the pain was shooting through every part of me.

'_Everything Jake. I can feel burning; it's everywhere. It hurts. Make it stop! Please make it stop!'_

I would have given anything, done anything, if my alpha would just stub out the pain. Nothing happened, although I could finally hear the faint sounds of a wolf snarling around me and somehow felt the blows of battle through the ground.

'_Jake, where are they?'_

''_They are gone. You're safe; I chased them off.'_

'_Where are you?'_

'_I'm here Leah.'_

'_Where?'_

'_I'm right next to you. Can't you feel me, I checking over your wounds?'_

'_I can't feel you Jake - only the fire! It's all flames and darkness! Oh my god . . . my body is on fire! Put it out! Put it out! Please . . . I'm begging you! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything, for being a bitch, for being a shitty wolf! I'll do anything, please just make it go away! It burns!'_

I was willing to sell my soul if only the pain stopped. I could barely think straight, reality was getting further and further away from my grasp. The ability to focus and feel anything but pain was quickly failing.

'_Leah, I need you to phase back.'_

'_I can't. I don't know how. It hurts.'_

'_I know it does. I really need you to phase back though. It's like normal; come on you can do it.'_

'_Command me.'_

'_What?' _Jake's mind was shocked.

'_I can't do it. Command me.'_

'_CHANGE BACK NOW.'_

Through the scorching heat, I felt a shiver and knew I was human again. The pain changed immediately and rocketed through my new form. I had no idea what other injuries I'd suffered. I could feel nothing except for the venom coursing through my veins. My eyes still saw only darkness; however I felt a cool body around me and some motion. The burning suddenly ceased and all feeling was now gone. The only thing I had left was some basic awareness and it was a welcome relief.

"Is Carlisle here?" I barely managed to whimper.

"No Lee, it's just me." Jake was gone though and in his place an angel's voice spoke through my black night.

"You're cold." Compared to the burning, the ice cold skin on my savior was like bliss.

"Leah, it's me, Jake. You've got to listen ok? You've got to hold on. I'm running you to Carlisle now. Your temperature is off the scales."

I didn't understand; the voice said it was Jake, but it didn't sound like him. I think it was a lie - people always lied. They were tricky - little tricky tricksters. Always shadows and mirrors - no, this wasn't Jake, he wouldn't sound like that, would he?

Now that I came to think of it, I couldn't actually remember what Jake's voice sounded like; or Seth's, or mum's. What did they even look like? Everything was black.

Hang on . . . Black? That was it; Jacob was a Black. Renesmee Black - yes, she was going to be his wife one day. Leah Black - no, no, that was wrong, very wrong. It was all very confusing and I couldn't believe how tiring it all was. At least the pain was all gone; it was nice and numb and I just wanted to sleep. I'd feel better tomorrow: sleep was my friend. "I'm tired now. Can I go to bed?"

"No Leah, you've got to stay awake."

"Where's Jacob Black?" I needed him.

"Shit."

"You do know angels don't swear?" I didn't like my angel cursing; why couldn't he just take me to bed like a good guardian.

Uh oh! Now my angel was mad; "Leah Clearwater, cursing has never offended you before. Don't you dare get all moral now."

I could feel myself drifting into a dream. I wanted to keep listening to the calming voice that held me, but I couldn't - it was too much like hard work. I couldn't even hear the angel anymore. In fact, I think I was in a hospital because all I could hear was the steady beep of a machine that was until a familiar voice started calling out to me - I remembered the voice, it was someone I knew and loved, but I couldn't picture a face. Yet, the way my name sounded on their lips . . . it wasn't right . . . that voice now called another name.

The old familiar voice faded out, only to be over taken by another booming one. It was getting very confusing.

"Leah! Leah! WAKE UP, GOD DAMN YOU WOMAN!"

I came around to darkness again, but the same cool body was holding and shaking me.

"What? I was sleeping! It's night time leave me alone." I wanted to swat the person away from me, but my body was too heavy to move.

"Don't you dare go to sleep. You stay with me."

I could feel the command and power laced within the words, but I knew I couldn't do it. I realised it was the angel and he was angry. I didn't want him angry, I really did want to stay with the angel, but suddenly that steady beep was still lulling me back into my dream.

"Angel?" I called out.

I heard a sigh and cool breath hit my face.

"Yes Leah?"

I wished my angel would stop sounding so sad.

"I'm going to sleep now. Can you tell Jake, that maybe I wouldn't divorce him after all. Leah Black sounds nice."

"No, no, no! You stay awake and tell me yourself."

"Yeah, Leah Black . . ." My lips mumbled.

"Leah, don't do this. I . . ."

**Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .**

"Leah, can you hear me?"

I knew that voice, it was the one from earlier, but he shouldn't be here.

"Come on Lee-Lee. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."

I squeezed his hand nonetheless; even Sam Uley was better than no one right now.

"Jake," I croaked. My voice didn't sound the same though.

"Oh god. Doctor! DOCTOR!" Sam was yelling now.

Why didn't he just call Carlisle by his name?

I tried to open my eyes. They were extremely heavy, but after several seconds I managed to open them a tiny bit. Harsh light came sweeping in. It was too bright and I tried to lift my arm to shield my eyes, but they also were too weak and heavy.

I heard someone enter the room; "Leah, I'm Doctor Manning. Can you hear me?"

"Where's Carlisle?" My throat felt dry.

"Who's Carlisle?" The male doctor asked someone. I knew it wasn't me.

I couldn't believe it. The idiots had brought me to a real hospital. I had to get out before they realised I was a freak. I tried to move, but my body didn't react. Immediately, panic started to set in and I heard the beep increase in line with my heart.

Sam's voice cut through. "Lee-Lee, it's ok. Everything is going to be ok. You've got to calm down."

"Stop fucking calling me that Uley," I snapped, pushing the beep higher. I used almost all my energy, just to turn my head and scowl at him. My eyes were blurred, but I could make out that dumb face he wore.

"Sam, why don't you step outside? Remember we talked about this, don't take it to heart." Doctor Manning sounded sympathetic.

"No! Do take it to heart you dog," I spat and felt tired immediately.

"Leah, you need to calm down. I know this is disorientating, but you've been out of it for some time. I need to do some tests first and foremost."

Doctor Manning continued to poke and prod me much like Carlisle always had; he checked my eyes with a light and got me to flex parts of my body. I was worried that my legs and arms could barely move: only the smallest twitches happened.

"What do you last remember?" he questioned.

"I don't know . . . I guess, I was in the forest with my alp- my friend, and we were attacked by an animal." I was groggy and lying wasn't easy. I had to protect the secret though, or Jake would kill me.

"Right. Ok Leah, this is going to be hard for you to understand, but everyone will help you. Every step of the way, ok?" The doctor was clearly leading up to something big.

I nodded. Did I have a terminal illness? Could shape shifters get sick?

"Leah, what date is it to you?"

I worked it out and told him.

"Err; how old do you think you are?" He was confused.

"I'm 24 for God's sake." Did he think I was an idiot? I might not pay attention to the current president or anything (I had bigger worries), but I was damn sure I knew my own age.

"Ok. Leah, you need to keep calm. I'm going to go through everything bit by bit. First, you're safe, but you're going to be in and out of consciousness for a few days. Nothing is going to seem real. This is the hard bit." He was hesitant.

I still couldn't open my eyes properly and my throat felt like sandpaper.

"Hey doc, before the bad news, can I have a drink?"

I felt the doctor lift a cup to my lips and took a gentle sip. I wanted more, but the cup was gone again.

"You're going to have to take fluids and food easy for a while. The thing is . . . you've been in a coma for the last year. You're twenty Leah." His voice was deadly serious.

"What? Did Emmett set this up? Pranks over now. Well done. Can Carlisle take over now?" I hurt too much to find it truly funny.

"I don't know any Emmett. It's hard to take in I know, but it's two thousand and five Leah. We'll go through it all in detail, one step at a time. Everything is ok. You need to sleep right now though. It's going to be a long road to recovery. The fact that you're conscious and talking straight away is a very positive sign!" Doctor Manning looked like a kid at Christmas. Even the blind could see the size of his grin.

He left the room and I could feel sleep taking over me again. I heard the door swing and in the corner of my blurry vision saw Sam enter.

"Hey gorgeous. The Doctor said you're going to be just fine. You have no idea how good it feels to see you awake." He was crying and held my hand again. "I'm going to be here every step of the way. Your parents are now on their way as well. I love you so much baby girl."

Only one word caught my attention, "Parents?"

"Yeah, I just called Harry and Sue." Through his tears he smiled.

My head spun. Harry? This joke was turning sour. Unwillingly, I was overcome with tiredness and before I could even reply. I felt myself falling back into the blackness.

**Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .**

"She's fighting!" Carlisle's voice chimed; it was like music compared to Doctor Manning.

"If she dies, I'll . . ." Jake was . . . angry? Sad? I couldn't tell, but I could hear him now.

"I know Jake. We'll do what we can. We've got the venom out, but I don't know the extent of the damage already done, or how it really affects wolves in the long term. Normally they would be gone already."

I definitely preferred this doctor and tried to call out to him and Jake, but my voice was lost and my eyes were still black. I felt myself wavering and fell back into my sleep confused as to why everyone was telling me different things.

* * *

**AN**

Hi everyone, so this is my second fanfic. It's running alongside my other story Amaguq and I have promised myself I will finish that story before I throw myself into this one. I guess I decided to post this chapter just to get some feedback and see if anyone's interested. I will try and upload chapter 2 at some point and I'm working on chapter 3, although gradually. Anyway, let me know what you think – good or bad all reviews welcome as long as they are constructive. xxx


	2. Hell or Heaven

**AN**

Ok my lovelies, here's chapter 2. Don't get too excited though, updates won't be this regular until Amaguq is done. Really, I am trying to slow down with this story - although I have just spent the morning writing a draft of the ending.

Anyway, thanks for the reviews and for those of you who came over from my other story and had a look. Thanks also to my beta Sarah for coming on this second adventure with me.

* * *

**Hell or Heaven?**

The next time I woke, I was back in hospital. The room was almost dark. Only a small lamp in the corner of the room gave off any light. My vision wasn't as blurred now and I managed to open my eyes fully.

I saw four sleeping shapes, slumped in chairs around the room. My eyes couldn't see as well in the dim light as usual, but I made out Sam, my mother, my brother and finally my father.

I let out an almighty sob at the sight of my dad. Immediately, four heads perked up. Mum was at my right side in seconds.

"Oh my god. You're awake again. We're so sorry we missed you earlier. How are you baby? How do you feel? Do you want anything? I love you so much!" Mum was sobbing now and covering me in kisses.

"I'm fine mum. Come on, let me breathe." I tried to wave her off me, although my arm barely moved. I only saw her yesterday, or whenever it was at home.

I heard Seth chuckle and smiled at him. He had tears in his eyes and looked tiny. He was the little boy of 14 again. All his muscles were gone and he was back to being a scrawny geeky kid.

I barely had time to register though, because the one person I missed most in the world stepped up to my left side. I started to cry uncontrollably. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it so hard it almost hurt.

"Hey princess, I missed you." His deep soothing voice was like magic.

I was dreaming, I had to be. I would wake up and this would all be gone. Dad would be gone again.

"I miss you too dad. I love you so much." I couldn't fight the tears and the familiar lethargy that was coming over me. "Daddy, don't leave me."

I felt like I was five again; I was scared of the dark and only wanted my dad, but my eyes were drooping.

"I'm not going anywhere Leah. I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise." He squeezed my hand harder and I let the dark take me.

**Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .**

"What's happening to her?" Jake was back and talking over me.

"I think it's some kind of coma. She has brain activity, but she's non-responsive." Carlisle sounded stressed. That didn't bode well.

I tried to call out like before, but my voice was still lost. My eyes continued to see black and I couldn't move.

"She'll wake up though? She's not a normal person. She's Leah, she'll regenerate won't she?" Jake's voice was desperate.

I heard Carlisle moving around the room, "I don't know. She could go either way."

"Can she hear me?"

I wanted to scream out that I could hear everything.

"Most likely. It certainly won't hurt to talk to her. I think everyone should. You all need to be prepared in case of the worst."

Carlisle was talking about me dying. I'm right here listening and they are about to start planning my funeral.

I felt myself fluttering again and the last thing I heard was Jake whisper, "I can't."

**Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .**

I twitched my fingers and felt someone tighten their hold on my hands.

"Good morning."

Waking up to dad's voice brought tears to my eyes again; "Hush now, it's ok Leah. We're all here baby." His voice was calming just like I remembered. I had often worried I forgot the sound of it, but I hadn't.

"Hey Sis."

I turned my head to find my weedy looking brother on my other side; his grin was bigger than his face.

"What's up dweeb?" I smiled back. "Where's mum?"

"She went to get some stuff for you. Magazines, music, photos, everything you could possibly ever want." Dad was smiling as much as Seth.

I admit, I was a sour faced bitch, but this place - although a little fucked up - was turning out ok. I couldn't understand it though; it felt as real as the Cullen's House.

"Sam will be back soon too." Seth added bringing my attention back to the room.

"Where's Jake?" I croaked; my throat was still dry.

"Here Leah, here's some water."

My overzealous brother lifted the cup to my mouth and tipped it higher than I could swallow. I felt the cool water dribbling down my chin and onto my gown.

"Nice one Seth. Can't you be more careful?" Dad snapped.

"Sorry." His baby face fell.

"Hey it's ok little Bro. I needed a bath anyway." I really wanted to punch him in the arm, but I still couldn't.

"What's wrong with my body?" I looked in all seriousness at Dad.

"Do you remember what Doctor Manning said yesterday? You've been in a coma. You have very basic muscle use, but you're going to need physiotherapy to get back to normal." Dad was deadly serious.

"Leah's never been normal in her life. I'd be freaking out by now, but she's taking it like a bad day at school." Seth chuckled.

"Yeah, wait until I'm up and walking. I'll be taking it out on you then." I grinned evilly at him.

The door swung open just then and the doctor appeared. "Hello Leah. Do you remember me?"

"Yeah, you're the annoying guy who pokes and prods," I said sarcastically. I really missed Carlisle.

"Hmm, right. Well, I take that as a yes. You're doing remarkably well. I rarely see patients this lucid so soon. I need to do the 'pokes and prods' again though I'm afraid. Some good news; we reduced the drugs over night as well. Hopefully, you should be able to stay with us a little longer today." The doctor started to carry out the same tests as yesterday and checked my charts.

Dad and Seth left the room; I never did like an audience. I missed my dad as soon as he left though.

After what seemed like forever, the doctor was finally satisfied. "Well at this rate, you'll be up and about in no time. It won't happen overnight though. Do you want to know more about what happened yet?"

"Err, sure, hit me!" I was ready for anything. I dealt with vampires on a day to day basis, I was not faint hearted.

"Ok, well without going into too much detail yet, you got hit by a car." He looked at me awaiting a reaction.

A car? No. That's not right. I was attacked by vampires.

"Leah?"

"Sorry, I kind of went off on my own there." I tried to smile. It was still very confusing in this dream. "So, I'm 20. I've been in a coma for one year. My dad's alive and I need physiotherapy. I was hit by a car. Right, gotcha. Check!"

"Yes, that does sum it up I suppose; your family can tell you more though about the night itself. It's better if you have information bit by bit so you can digest it. In the meantime, I would like to do some other tests and things. It's all going to be a big adjustment I know, but it won't hurt for you to see a psychiatrist while we are at it. I know you've only just come around, but I'm not happy with how confused you are. It's normal to be muddled, have memory loss, or even to suppress things, but you're brain seems to be handling things abnormally. Sam and your family have shown some concern with the people you have mentioned in particular." The doctor's brow was furrowed for the whole time he spoke.

"I don't care if I've been hit by a train and my brain is mush, I'm not seeing any quack," I growled.

If I interpreted his words correctly, he was basically saying he thought I was cuckoo. I just hoped I hadn't been raving about vampires and wolves in my sleep. Regardless, I, Leah Clearwater, was not being psychoanalysed by some over qualified shrink who thought I would make an interesting case because I was supposedly crazy.

"Ok, Leah. It's something we can certainly talk about. It's going to be a long road anyway, let's take it step by step. You've been extremely lucky." He patted my arm patronisingly as he left the room.

Once he left my dad and Seth returned, followed by my mum. She was carrying bags and bags of stuff. At my request, she opened up the curtains and window. I was pleased to feel fresh air blowing against my skin and see sunlight again. My family stayed with me for another hour before I started to get tired again. I couldn't take my eyes of any of them. They were exactly like they used to be, back when we were a proper family and normal. They all hugged and kissed me goodbye before leaving me to get some rest. As dad was leaving I called him back. He nodded for mum and Seth to go on.

"What's wrong Leah?" he asked kindly.

"Would you give me anything?" I loved him so much, even in this dream I didn't want to lose him.

Eyes similar to my own stared back at me, "Of course I would. What it is it?"

"Go on a diet." I was serious.

"Leah, I'm as fit as an ox. Why would I go on a diet?" He was laughing at me.

"Because you've lived on fish fry for the last fifteen years and your heart can't take it. I love you daddy. I want you to be here always. I need you to be here. Please, for me?" Tears rolled from my eyes again.

My dad looked awkward, before showing a cautious smile. "Before this happened, I wouldn't have agreed, but I almost lost you. You'll always be my little girl. If that's what it takes to make you happy, then it's done."

I smiled at him gratefully through my tears and he bent down and kissed my head before leaving. This time my sleep was on mutual terms.

**Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .**

"Hey Sis."

I tried to answer.

"It's Seth here."

His voice was not the same as the little boy from earlier.

"I'm sorry we let this happen."

How could he blame himself?

"I know you try and act all tough, but you're not. I should have been with you. It should be me here not you."

I would not swap places for the world. My annoying little brother was just that - my little brother.

"So you've got to wake up, ok? I love you Leah. Please wake up for me. You can beat me every day. I'll do anything you want. I'll take all your patrols. Hell, I'll kill Sam if you'd just come back to me. I need you." Seth's voice was broken.

A new voice entered the room. "Hey mate, any change?"

"No. Is Jake back? He should be here too. He's the real person to blame."

I had never heard such venom in Seth's voice.

"He's still at your mum's. He rang to say she's hysterical, but he's going to bring her over. You can't blame him Seth; he's beating himself up enough. Trust me I would be the first to pummel his ass if I thought he put her here."

I realised the booming voice belonged to Emmett; I had never heard him be serious before and it threw me to start with.

"Can't Edward read her mind? So we know if she can hear us, or if she's thinking?" Seth was desperate.

"He's tried. What bit of her brain is active, he can't reach. He can't read wherever she is in there."

I wanted to tell Emmett to crack a joke or something. Just cheer Seth up! If I was dying, I didn't want to hear everyone in complete misery. Jesus Christ, I wasn't even going to get the kind of death I wanted. I would rather die as the bitch I was known to be, not a vegetable.

There was no beeping this time, I must have fallen back to sleep without even realising; when I came to, it was night again and I was back in the hospital. The window was shut, but the curtains were open, and it was raining. I looked around the room to find Sam was back. He was sitting with his head in his hands, in a chair next to me.

I cleared my throat to get his attention. Sam looked up and gave me a tired smile.

"Hi." He mouthed.

"Hi." Why out of all the wolves was I stuck with Sam?

"How are you feeling?" he asked nervously.

"Where's Mum and Dad?" I ignored his question.

"They were tired. You've been out of it for another day Leah. I stayed instead."

Now that I looked at him, I saw big black rings under his eyes.

"Sam, go home. You look shattered. Isn't Emily expecting you? Just send Jake or Embry, even Quil will do. I'm fine." I was getting impatient with Sam's long face.

"Leah, the doctor said it's normal for you to be confused, but the people you're talking about - you don't know them. They're just kids on the reservation. Why do you keep asking for them? Why would Emily be expecting me? That's your cousin right?"

Oh, shit - dream world Sam was a dumb ass.

"Err, Emily is your wife, and those_ kids_ on the reservation, used to be in your pack. They are my pack now."

Why didn't he get it?

"Ok. I'm going to call the doctor. He said you kept getting confused, thinking it was 2009. I thought he was kidding, but you're not right baby. It's ok, maybe they just need to try you on some new medication." He was making his way slowly to the door.

"Sam, I promise you, if anyone tries to stick me with more drugs, I will personally shove them up your ass. Now sit down and talk!" My voice was commanding, and he sat down looking concerned.

"Humour me." As I spoke, his face turned to confusion.

"It's 2005?" I questioned.

"Yes" Sam nodded.

"You haven't met Emily yet?" This would help me get my bearings.

"Of course I have, she's been here several times to visit you. She's been really worried." His face was full of worry.

My head spun. "You're not with Emily?"

"No! I'm with you. I've sat by your side pretty much every day for the last year. It's only ever been you Lee-Lee. It only ever will be."

I realised he was holding my hand again and pulled it back. He looked hurt, but I ignored him.

I needed my pack desperately. "Jake, Embry and Quil - you don't know them?"

"No, I know who they are. La Push is tiny, you know that. They're not our friends though. They're kids."

"Ok; what about the Cullen's?"

"Who?"

"Doctor Cullen? Edward, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Esme, Emmett?"

Sam was shaking his head.

"Bella?"

Still shaking.

"Renesmee?"

"No, what kind of name is that?" He scoffed.

"Yeah, we all wondered that too. So, you know none of those people? What about Chief Swan?"

"Yeah he's the Police Chief of Forks; your father's friend." Sam looked pleased I finally mentioned someone he knew.

I nodded this time. So none of them existed here. Whoa, that made for a quiet world. I didn't understand though - was this meant to be pre-phasing?

"Leah?"

"Yes Sam?" I said, releasing a heavy sigh.

"Why do you hate me?" his question was pained.

"What?"

He looked at me sadly, "I don't understand, what's happened? You've never been like this in your life. You were happy to see your family, but every time you see me, you seem bitter and hurt."

"Yeah, because you left me." I stated.

"No! I never left you. I've been here every day." Sam's voice seemed to get louder in frustration.

"Fine, well you will leave me; for Emily." I clarified.

"What are you on about? Let me get the doctor." He started to push his chair back.

"Sam, don't! Just go. I don't want you to come back."

"But-"

"-No buts! I don't want to see you. I don't want your face to be the one I see when I wake up."

Sam's shoulders slumped down as he stood and made his way to the door. I noticed his body was slimmer and shorter. He was still broad, but that strength and muscle he normally had wasn't present; this was definitely pre-phrase

"If you change your mind: I'll be waiting. I waited a year for you Leah, I'm not going anywhere."

I watched the door swing behind him and wished it had hit him in the ass as he left. Not long after, the doctor came in for another round of tests. I realised it was about 12:00am, and I was wide awake now.

"So Doc, what happened in this car crash?"

The doctor looked nervous, "Are you sure you're ready? I can only tell you so much of that evening."

I nodded.

"Ok, well from what we gathered from witnesses, you were driving your car across a junction. Another car failed to break at a red light and ploughed into you. Does that jog any memories?"

I shook my head at him; it didn't sound in anyway familiar.

"As a result of the crash, you sustained a severe head injury and had swelling on the brain. Your body shut itself down to repair. You've been in a coma for exactly one year, 2 weeks and 3 days since then." He smiled at me unsure of my reaction.

"The driver of the other car?" I needed to know if they had survived.

"They're fine, they got charged with dangerous driving though."

"Ok. When I can get out of here?"

"When you can stay awake properly we'll talk. You need to also realise that when you do get out everyone will be different. It's been a year and things will have changed. Now you need to get some natural rest." He patted my arm patronisingly once again (that was really going to start pissing me off) and left.

Sleep failed to come, so instead I spent the next few hours staring at the ceiling and trying to move my muscles. It was harder than anticipated. I could move them slightly, but my body was so lean and skinny; I had lost most of my muscle.

I began to worry about how real this world felt. This was clearer than any dream I had before. It was the world I often wished I had; my dad and Sam were by my side. My other world was full of pain and hurt. Here was filled with love.

I tried to use my wolf instincts, but they too were gone. I was normal. Sam was normal. None of the supernatural crap had happened. That explained why he was so hurt by my attitude.

I kept churning things over in my head before I fell asleep again.

This time, I didn't wake up at the Cullen's house. I didn't even remember dreaming. I came around to find my parents with me again.

"Hello Leah." Mum's happy face looked down at me.

"Hey Mum. Hey Dad."

"Hello sweetie." Dad was smiling.

"Where's Seth?"

"School, but we have time off work and are going to be here all day." Mum rubbed my hand.

My parents were true to their word. They spent the whole day with me. I had two short sleeps and was even allowed to digest a small amount of food and drink at lunchtime. The nurse said I had been on a drip so long, my stomach had to get used to everything again. I was slightly pleased, but the hospital food was disgusting.

After lunch, my parents and I talked and laughed just like we used to. My eyes still watched my father the most, but my mum looked younger, like the world was lifted off her shoulders.

When it started to get dark they had to leave again, but promised they would be back tomorrow. As mum was leaving, she asked me why I sent Sam away. I explained that I just didn't want him around at the moment. Mum looked disappointed and told me how he hadn't left my side since the accident. He had given up work and his friends. His mum had been unable to support him, so he moved in to our house.

I started to feel guilty. I was blaming him for something that hadn't happened. This was the old Sam who loved me, but this wasn't real, was it?


	3. Frustration and Tears

**Frustration and Tears  
**

Weeks passed in the hospital. I slept, but I didn't lose consciousness like I had at the beginning. Worse though, I hadn't woken up at the Cullen's since Seth and my anxiety was growing every day. Each time my eyes opened to the clinically white room, my heart felt like it stopped. This wasn't my world, but somehow I couldn't wake up from it.

Sam stayed away at least. I would have liked to have thought it was my own conscience controlling everything and everyone, but I wasn't sure. I couldn't believe I'd have imagined as dull a doctor, or as normal a life. Everything about me was fucked up, even my usual dreams back home - why would this be different?

I sighed and felt my father's hand twitch in mine as he too woke up in the stiff chair by my bed.

Whatever was happening, the time spent with him was priceless. It was almost enough for me to not want to go back. I say 'almost' because I knew it wasn't real and I knew that he would leave me soon enough.

So far, the doctor had continued to do his tests with ever increasing optimism; his favourite phrases seemed to be 'medical marvel' and 'most extraordinary'. The physiotherapist also called in daily to help me exercise my muscles and show me the things that I needed to do to restore them. It was tedious, and I only tolerated their instructions through boredom. I would have gone insane if I just laid in bed and waited to come out of this coma and back to my pack.

"Hey baby girl." Dad greeted me smiling.

"Hi daddy." I mirrored his expression.

"How are you feeling?"

The sincerity and concern that he radiated made me feel like I was actually precious - something I hadn't felt for years.

"Bored. Frustrated. Fed Up. Can't I come home yet?" I pouted - it was hard not to become absorbed in this fantasy world.

"Not yet. You've got to be able to move around before then. You know the house isn't suitable for you at the moment." Dad's face was apologetic.

We sat and talked for some time. He told me about the things I had missed over the last year, and made me laugh retelling stories of our old fishing trips. According to him, Sam and Seth had gotten even closer than before. My accident had brought the family together and he was now a part of it. It hurt to hear it. This was the life I always wanted and it was here. I still loved Sam, but it was different to how it used to be. I used to be in love with him, now it was just love because he had broken my heart with imprinting.

Besides, I relied on different guys now. I might not always show it, but my pack was my family and life line. If I didn't have them antagonising me I wouldn't have anything. They kept me alive and bitchy and they cared enough to tease me - it was as close to love as I had gotten for some time. Sure, I had my mum and Seth back home, but I needed other people in my life as well.

I noticed Dad was looking at me concerned. I tended to get a bit blasé about things considering this world wasn't real. Occasionally, I didn't have the patience to play along and got frustrated. It wasn't like anything I did mattered here anyway.

I swatted off his concern, reveling in the fact that I could now move my arms, although slowly. I got the old 'roll' of the eyes from him, which made me chuckle.

A short while later he went home. Mum was on a late shift and Seth was trying to catch up on his school work so my dad at least wanted to have tea ready for them. I had to give him credit, by taking over the meals he had kept his word and was changing his habits. I just hoped it wasn't too late, but then this wasn't real, right?

That night, after doing my exercises again, I fell into a deep sleep. This time the room I faced was dark, or at least I couldn't see anything. My hearing however was heightened as was my sense of smell and I was elated to take in the musky scent of my alpha. I tried to move, but my body failed to respond; it was then that I knew I was definitely back at the Cullen's.

I tried to call out to Jake, but I was still also mute. I let out a heavy breathe exasperated.

"Leah?" Jake suddenly yelled panicked. "Leah? Can you hear me?"

I couldn't respond. It didn't matter how badly I wanted to. I heard footsteps come rushing into the room, too many for one person.

"Jake what happened?" A stern female voice cried out alarmed.

"She . . . she . . . breathed," he stuttered.

"Jeez Jake, for a minute I thought she'd woken up. Don't do that to me." It was my mother, sounding old, miserable, and tired.

"No Sue! She didn't just breathe. She breathed heavily!" Jake sounded exasperated.

My mother didn't answer, but I heard her slow and heavy footsteps carry her away from my room and off into the house.

"Jake you're going to send yourself crazy. You've got to leave her. Get some sleep. It's no wonder you're imagining things, you've been going for two days." Embry spoke ever so quietly, almost cautiously.

"No way. If she wakes up someone has to be with her," he snapped.

"Yeah, and there's plenty of us willing - Me, Quil, Seth. Even Sam's pack are here and there's Sue and the Cullen's. Jake, you can't hold yourself responsible. What about Nessie? You're neglecting your imprint.," Embry pleaded.

"Nessie is fine. Leah's the one stuck in there somewhere. I don't even know if she's getting better or worse." He sighed.

"If you change your mind, just call us. She's our sister too." I heard Quil pipe in this time, backing up Embry, before both of their footsteps faded away also.

The silence in the room was heavy for what felt like forever.

"Edward, please don't just hover," Jake said sadly.

"I'm sorry. I keep trying to listen to her, but there's still nothing. Not even flickers. She's stable though Jake, it's like she's drifting. There's nothing physically wrong with her anymore, but her mind's blank."

I could imagine Edwards crooked mouth spewing out my prognosis.

"Do you think she's brain dead?" Each time Jake spoke his voice seemed to get quieter.

"No. It's not like that. Look, I'll leave you alone, but you should know that Alice's vision hasn't changed, and until it does there's hope Jake."

I didn't understand anything anyone was saying and I didn't hear Edward leave, but the air suddenly smelt cleaner so I knew that he had.

"Lee . . . God this is so stupid - speaking to someone who probably can't hear me anyway. If you're in there, come back to me, to us. We need you. I can't do this stuff without you. Please."

I felt myself wavering; why when I wanted to speak the most did I always fade out?

As I opened my eyes, I knew I was back in hospital. I was alone and it was dark out. I had finally reached my limit. I wanted to go home. Not home here, but home with my pack. I was fed up of playing along. Enough was enough now. Maybe if I could just get out of this room I would wake up and then Jake, Seth, my mother - hell, everyone would just stop sounding so miserable.

I sat up in my bed. So far, I had only managed to walk a few steps around the room with my dad and Seth supporting me. My leg muscles with worse than my arms, but I had continued to work on them like the physiotherapist said. I just had to remind myself that this wasn't real and therefore I could do anything. I wriggled to the side of the bed and managed to swing my legs around. My feet dangled an inch off the floor. Ever so carefully, I lowered myself off the bed, supporting my weight on my arms. My feet hit the floor, but they weren't steady like I was used to. It was like a nightmare going from a strong supernatural creature to a weak human. I never thought I would miss it, but I was considering that I was wrong.

I looked around the room, gauging my next move. I leaned over to the table at my side and grabbed it with my hands. I was going to have to lean on things if I was going anywhere. I managed to slowly lift my feet one by one to the door. When I finally got there, I fell against it and stopped to rest - it was tiring to say the least. After leaning over to the wall, I pulled the door open, looked down at myself in my pink pajamas, and took a deep breath. Grabbing the door frame, I hobbled out of the room and into the hall. It must have been late because it was quiet and empty. I knew I was on a private ward too; I had been moved since waking and seen other parts of the hospital when being treated, everyone had their own rooms in this wing. Bit by bit, I shuffled down the hallway using the wall as support. I felt victorious, like I was fighting whatever was keeping me here. After countless minutes, I made it to a turn in the corridor and continued. I lost track of time and soon I began to get frustrated by my tiny frail steps. I was the quickest person in my pack - this was killing me.

I reached the point where my legs began to feel weaker - if that was even possible. I tried to keep going though; I made it a few more steps and was almost at the end of the corridor. Unfortunately, I felt my body stumble and didn't have the strength to catch myself. I tumbled to the ground and as my boney knees hit the hard cold floor, I felt the bruises already forming and cursed in pain.

Suddenly, a round of single applause came from behind me. I was still on my knees and managed to look over my shoulder to see a smartly dressed brunette in her mid thirties watching me and clapping. I scowled in response at the insensitive bitch.

"Leah Clearwater, I was wondering when I would have the pleasure." She smiled.

"Real fucking pleasure, and _who _exactly are you?" I snarled, frustrated at being stuck on my knees. I managed to sit and at least get my legs out from under me. I felt pathetic sitting on the floor.

"I'm Sandra May, but you can call me Sandy." She didn't move from the door frame she was leaning against.

"Oh, I get it. You're the shrink!" I sniggered.

"Counsellor actually. Dr. Manning explained you didn't want to see a 'shrink' as you called it. Anyway, he passed me your file. If you'll let me, I'd like to help." She held out her hand for me to shake it.

As if I was going to greet her while I was stuck on the floor. Besides, counsellor or shrink - it all meant they thought I had issues.

"I don't need any help," I stated.

"Ok . . . ," she took a step back again ". . . so what's the plan?"

"I'm sorry?" I questioned.

"Well, I was just wondering if you don't want any help what your next plan was Leah. I mean it's very encouraging that you got this far. Dr. Manning speaks very highly of your determination and your rate of recovery, but really Leah, where now? Your legs have gone as far as they can for today."

She was right. The bitch knew it. I knew it; I had no choice but to take stock of my situation.

"Fine. So you win. I need help," I relented.

"It's not about winning Leah." She quickly went into a nearby room and returned with a wheelchair. "I'm just going to find another nurse to help lift you."

"No," I stated. One person was quite enough. "You'll be fine. I'm not a cripple."

"Ok then Leah. On the count of three. I've put the brakes on the chair, so I'll lift while you push up and into it," she said encouragingly.

I nodded in return and braced myself.

"One . . . two . . . three . . ."

Together, we somehow managed to get me in the chair. I felt exhausted from the effort.

"Wow, well done." Sandy smiled at me.

"I'm not a stupid kid. You don't need to patronise me," I snapped.

"Leah, I wasn't. I'm seriously impressed. So, where to?" She was suddenly at the back of my chair and had taken a hold of the handles.

"What?" I said surprised.

"Come on, you were going somewhere. I'll push. You don't even have to play nice. Just give me directions." She was pushing me down the hall already.

"Are you meant to be this irritating?" I asked.

"Oh come on. I know you're no fool. I accepted your file because I have thick skin and you have a sharp tongue. We are going to get along just fine, trust me Leah."

I could have sworn she was grinning, and annoyingly I found myself smiling at her determination. I had respect for anyone who could hold their own.

"Fine . . ." I said, while keeping a straight face. "I want to go outside, and before you say anything I don't care that it's night time either."

"Didn't say a word." She chuckled and wheeled me into a lift.

I sat patiently (as if I had a choice) and listened to the insanely dull elevator music as we went down several levels. Eventually the over enthusiastic bell signalled we had reached the ground floor, and Sandy continued to wheel me through several more wards. It felt like forever, but finally I saw the glass doors leading to the outside. I knew if I could only smell the air I would wake up. It made sense, surely something had to happen? My stomach twisted excitedly as she pushed me out and into my freedom; I closed my eyes, thinking of home as the fresh air came rushing to meet me.

Unfortunately, it didn't last long and my excitement was quickly replaced with a sickening feeling. I opened my eyes again; I was looking over the hospital car park and the sky above me was pitch black. Worse than that, the cold wind hit me and I shivered - something I hadn't done in years. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I realised I was still human and still stuck here. I wiped it away quickly, but it was too late. I knew Sandy had seen it because she put her hand on my shoulder consoling me.

"Not what you expected, huh?" she said calmly. "A lot has changed Leah."

"Can you take me back to my room please?" I said ignoring her comment. I felt completely deflated.

"Of course." She said nothing more and took me back.

By the time I reached my room, I wanted nothing more than to be left alone so I could let it all out. Unfortunately, the counsellor insisted on helping me onto my bed first, and so I relented if only to get rid of her. Once I was settled, she then mentioned something about visiting me tomorrow before finally leaving.

The minute the door had closed behind her, I threw my body down on the bed and let out the sob that had been building up inside of me. The tears that poured from eyes quickly soaked my pillow, but I didn't care, and sometime later, sleep finally consumed me.

I dreamt this time . . . it was the first time in weeks. I didn't know what it was about though; the minute I woke it faded from my memory, but I was at least left with a feeling of happiness. Automatically, I kept my eyes shut, not wanting to disturb my body (which was still asleep), nor lose the unusual peace that I felt.

As I rested and absorbed the morning, I began to notice a piano playing in the background; immediately I tried to open my eyes and move, but it was a failure. Part of me was extremely pleased to be back, but something was tugging at me too, telling me that this wasn't right and reminding me of my father, who would be visiting me later at the hospital.

I lay for countless minutes, paralysed in the dark, using my wolf senses to tell me what was happening. My nose picked up the distant smell of bacon cooking. There were also varying sickly scents throughout the air, each belonging to a Cullen. I tried to break it down further and wolves came to mind, all of them had been here at some point. I realised there was only one pack scent that was fresh, and in confirmation a snore came from somewhere behind my head: it belonged to Jake. I was touched he was still here; as much as he was a pain in my ass, he had somehow become my best friend, understanding me in ways that others couldn't. I knew he had an imprint though and it surprised me more that he was not with her currently.

With no other option available to me and no way to communicate, I reluctantly lay in the bed and tried to move small parts of my body - there was no such luck. Sometime later, I was pleased to hear whispers come in through the doorway.

"Do you think we should wake him?" The small voice of Alice spoke lower than human hearing.

Jasper's southern drawl replied to her question, "No. I think it's best for him to rest for now."

"But he hasn't eaten," the pixie like vamp said concerned.

"I know, but he hasn't slept much over the last few weeks either."

There was silence for a few minutes.

"Jasper . . ." if possible her voice was even quieter.

"Yes, my dear?"

"What if I was wrong? I can't see how it is possible." The uncertainty in her voice surprised me.

"Honey, you have never doubted yourself before. Why now?" he asked.

"I just don't understand it. I know what I've seen; somewhere inside, one of these wolves has made a decision whether they know it or not, but it doesn't mean it can't change. If she dies, that future dies with her. I don't want to give anyone false hope."

"There's no such thing as false hope. Hope is just that - hope, and it's the only thing that these guys have got at the moment." Jasper reassured her.

Once again, the voices faded out. As I fell into the darkness I felt so confused. Both worlds seemed so real and yet so far from reality, and the pain and sensations in each of them were so strong. Bit by bit, the boundaries were starting to blur and gradually, I was finding myself unsure of where I truly belonged.

* * *

AN

I know I haven't updated for ages sorry! What with life and Amaguq this has become a background project. It will be finished though, but I've also come up with another new story which I will be posting shortly. Hope you liked and would love your comments? xxx


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